tweague: An image of an iron age spearhead with La Tene style decoration (Default)
[personal profile] tweague
So I was having a particularly awful case of Blorbo Brain this morning, where I just wanted to write nonsense about My Fictional Guys; I'm already writing other stuff about them, but it's quite long and at present quite sad (stuck in the 'hurt' bit of the h/c dynamic for at least another 5000 words, I would guess) and I wanted something to satisfy the brain itch. So I went touting for prompts on the WEJverse Discord, and [personal profile] ysande was good enough to indulge me ^_^ She asked for 'basically every joyous coming of age summer story', and set off about three dozen different ficlet ideas; here's the first of them. It may eventually be the start of a longer story about this particular holiday, the first time Bertie goes to Lorrington, if other ideas spawn around the same time period; in my head it takes place the days before ysande's glorious prompt-fest fill where Gimlet gets sunburn because he's determined to do all the fun holiday things with Bertie, all at once, right now. Unbetaed and scruffy round the edges, but maybe it'll turn into something better later.

Bertie + Gimlet, school age, Gen, c.2k.

* * *


What We Did On Our Holidays I

“Bertie - Bertie, wake up.”

The words weren’t much more than a determined hiss, but the firm shake to his shoulder that accompanied them did the job as well as a shout. Bertie blinked his eyes open, a little groggily. There was a dim suspicion of grey half-light in the gap where the curtains weren’t quite drawn closed, but nothing more definite than that of dawn yet, so it must be frightfully early; and against that faintest hint of daylight, a vague shape that must be King.

“Whatever for?” he managed to croak.

“Come with me.”

“Not a chance,” he said, and attempted to burrow back down under the blankets; but King’s hand on his arm was entirely unyielding.

“Don’t be an ass Bertie. Get up, I want to show you something.”

And because it was King, and therefore a foregone conclusion; and because it was the first morning he had ever been there; and because of the faint note of excitement in King’s voice, and he had found that King’s excitement was something he somehow quite liked to share, he got up.

He had arrived late the previous evening, after a day of delayed trains and being constantly on the point of losing his luggage. It shouldn’t have been possible to take so long to get from Somerset to the borders of Dartmoor, yet there he was, Lorrington station in the midsummer twilight with the scent blowing thick off the tobacco flowers, and him almost the only one there to enjoy it. Then King had arrived, looking very pleased with himself high on an old pony trap, with the reins in his hands and an amused-looking groom taking his ease on the box seat at the back; and it had all started to feel a bit more like an adventure.

He was too old for adventures, of course. Seventeen-year-olds didn’t hold with such things. But driving through the gloom with the carriage lamp swinging beside him as King gave him chapter and verse on the stolid little pony’s virtues and foibles, and the first glow-worms emerged, and the nightjars shirred in the bushes - it felt a little like an adventure, all the same.

He’d been too late for dinner, King had informed him; he’d have a tray of supper sent up to his room. As soon as Bertie had been introduced to his father, of course.

It occurred to Bertie that he had somehow never given much thought to King’s parents; in some vague way he had assumed that he might have sprung into existence fully grown, and possibly armed, much in the manner of Athene. But at least he didn’t have time to work himself up about the encounter, because King led him straight from the hall into the study, and said, “Here’s Bertie Lissie, sir,” in a quiet, level voice, and there was a slim red-haired man looking up from a pile of papers, and freezing him where he stood with a pair of disconcertingly familiar blue eyes.

He was never quite sure, afterwards, what he had said; he only remembered the sensation of cold, like stepping into an ice-house.

“Mother’s already retired for the night,” said King, in a more normal voice, as afterwards he carried Bertie’s suitcase up the narrow, creaking stairs. The house, as they walked through it by lamp-light, seemed to be all in black and white, repeating patterns of black beams, black doors, black stairs, against the white of the walls; but every now and then the pattern would be broken by splashes of colour, walls painted with plants, animals, curlicues of vine and acanthus and stylised birds, old and stiff and strange. “You’ll meet her tomorrow, I expect. I’ll let you settle in this evening - since Father’s study is just at the bottom of the stairs he’s not fond of noise at this time of night. Bathroom’s here - “ as he indicated a door to the left, “and my room’s just across from yours.” He opened one of the many dark, nail-studded doors along the rambling length of the corridor, and went in, to put the lamp down on the bedside table and the case on an intricately-carved linen press at the foot of the four-poster bed.

“Aren’t I going to be in with you?” asked Bertie, a little taken aback.

King frowned. “There’s no need. We’ve got more rooms than we know what to do with.”

“Well, yes, I do quite see that, old thing - Chedcombe’s much the same,” Bertie conceded. “I just wasn’t quite expecting to be treated as a house guest - putting the housemaids to all the extra work, that sort of thing. I’m just as happy mucking in with you, really - “ And then, seeing the expression on King’s face, he hurried on, “though I do quite understand that an Englishman’s room is his castle, of course. Wouldn’t want to batter down the jolly old drawbridge for the world. And this room’s absolutely top-notch, don’t you know - I shall be half the night hunting for peas in the mattress, it looks like just the bed for it.”

King was still frowning. “If you won’t be comfortable in here - “

“It’s splendid, old boy,” said Bertie, putting all the conviction into the words that he could, because it was. “Fit for a king.”

“Was that a pun?” asked King, suspiciously.

Bertie sighed. “Not sure my brain’s working well enough for punning. It’s been an awfully long day.”

King nodded. “Of course. I’ll leave you to unpack. The girl will bring your supper soon.” He left the lamp where it was, and walked back to the open door, where he paused for a moment. “I hope you’ll be comfortable. I’m very pleased to have you here.”

Bertie smiled, and some part of himself that had felt unaccountably chilled since they had arrived in the great dark house seemed to warm a little. “I’m jolly pleased to be here too.”

Now, in the whisper of pre-dawn light, he pulled on yesterday’s shorts and shirt, slipped on his comfortable rubber-soled shoes, and crept out into the gloomy corridor outside his room. “Where on earth are we going at this hour?” Bertie whispered, his mind running on early-morning raids of the larder, of bird-nesting in the park, of taking out the horses King had spoken of so often for a gallop before the dew was off the grass -

“Don’t talk yet,” King replied, hardly more than a breath. “Here.”

Noiselessly, he opened the door opposite, and shut it noiselessly behind them again: a difficult operation with one of those great stiff iron latches, Bertie thought, and wondered how often he had practised. Then he crossed to the window, and pushed aside the heavy curtains just enough to give him access to the diamond-paned window. “How are you at climbing?” he asked, very softly, as he pushed it open.

Not as good as King, was the answer that rapidly became obvious. First a scramble up from an ancient oak chest through the narrow casement and out onto the leads, which here made a narrow flat pathway between the dormer windows and the low parapet that crowned the frontage, and through which a shallow gutter carried rainwater, in a way that Bertie vaguely thought must be desperately prone to leaks. That was easy enough, providing he didn’t look over the parapet too often, to see the yawning gulf from which he was separated only by a crenellation a foot or so high. The next stage - shinning up the leads themselves, up the reasonably gentle angle of the roof where it met a ridge of stones that offered a few finger-holds for support - was only a little more challenging; but the stage after that, where King slipped up and around a barley twist chimney-pot in a way that seemed little short of miraculous, began to test Bertie’s nerve. The air was cool and a little misty; the glazed surface of the chimney-pots very slightly slippery under his hands.

“I say, Lorry old thing, are you quite sure this is all right?” he called forward, a little plaintively. “I can hardly see a bally thing!”

“I’m sure,” King’s voice came floating back. “I’ve done it a hundred times. Just tread where I tread.”

“Not exactly the season for Good King Wenceslas,” Bertie muttered, more to himself than anyone else; but he fixed his eyes on King’s plimsolled feet up ahead, and followed.

Up and along the ridge, a foot on either side, slipping a little unnervingly; up a run of quoins, like a staircase, except a staircase where each tread was only a couple of inches deep; along a piece of moulded stone like a ledge, pressing himself to the wall, trying not to think of how easily stone this old could crumble, or the twenty foot drop to the roof below; and then -

“Nearly there now - just a few more yards. Right hand up and right a little more - there’s a gargoyle under the ivy, it’ll give you a better purchase - that’s it, you’ve got it. Then support your weight on it and bring your right foot across and up, there’s a decently thick branch there, just above your knee height - it’s enough to get your left hand up to the top here - “

- then King’s hand was clasping his wrist, for reassurance as much as steadiness, as he pulled himself up and over the edge and dropped down onto a flat roof, panting with exertion and adrenalin.

“Well done, I knew you could do it,” he heard King say, voice warm with approval. “We’re just in time too. Come and see.”

Slowly, he heaved himself up to his feet again, feeling very slightly shaky, and cautiously made his way across to where King was standing, hands resting against the the top course of masonry, leaning out over nothingness, with his face to the place where, far away to the east, the first ray of the sun had just shot skywards like a firework.

He came and stood next to him, and looked out.

Immediately below them, a tumble of rooftops, tile and lead and slate, different heights, different styles, dropping down around them like a Victorian lady’s skirts; beyond them, the formal gardens, the knots and geometric tangles of box hedges and gravel walks sharply visible; beyond that, the parkland, with great stands of trees, grass already browning in the summer heat, and a herd of deer at their morning forage; and beyond that, a great rolling sea of farmland, grassland, moor and heath, with the sun spilling over it and shreds of mist rising from the rivers. And everywhere the birds were singing.

“I try to come up here the morning after I get back from school,” said King, incongruously matter-of-fact. “Or town, or wherever else I’ve been. Providing the weather’s right for it, of course - not much point coming up if it’s tipping it down.”

“Not to mention that you’d probably break your neck trying,” Bertie murmured.

“I like how you can see everything from here,” King went on. “Look - that’s the river Taw, away there in the distance. It flows all the way up to the sea at Barnstaple. Though some of the other streams round here flow south into the Exe instead - we’re quite close to the watershed here.” And walking around each of the four sides of the tower in turn, he named to Bertie the rivers, the streams, the woods and copses and villages and meadows. “This is where you can see it best,” he finished, coming back to the point where they had begun, and turning to face Bertie for the first time. “Well - this is Lorrington, then,” he said.

There was an expression on his face that Bertie hadn’t seen there before: both complex and oddly open compared to his usually inscrutability. Something like shyness; something like belligerence; something like pride. As if he had wrapped the view up with a bow and handed it to him, and wasn’t sure if he’d regret the gesture.

Impulsively, as if he had been a much younger boy, as if they’d both still been in prep school and King had given him his finest marble, Bertie reached out, and took his hand, and squeezed it briefly before letting go. “Thanks,” he said, not knowing what else to say. “Thanks awfully for having me here, old thing.”

And King smiled: smiled quite brilliantly. “Thanks for coming. Should you like to look over the house today?”

Date: 2025-08-10 07:13 am (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
I’m carefully trying to walk the balance of demanding ALL THE FIC RIGHT NOW because it just sounds like the most amazing thing, all of it, everything with the two of them together just being extremely THEM. Your thoughts on Gimlet’s father are A++++ and I love them, especially the about the impossibility of asserting yourself against someone so *correct*, because clearly the only alternative reason available for *not* doing the correct thing being demanded of you is weakness or perversion (and Gimlet, having worked out this logic for himself, or had it methodically explained to him, is always aware of this, not only when he’s refusing to do the correct thing, but when he’s doing the correct thing and not understanding it at all, or resenting it entirely)

And yes to your thoughts on Bertie’s father! I think he was a much blunter and heartier kind of man, likely not given too much to thought or introspection, very much acting on gut feel without ever realising that’s what he did, vacillating between bemused and frustrated and contemptuous whenever his path crosses with Bertie’s in any meaningful way, which, as you say, is likely designed by him (probably entirely unconsciously, but entirely purposefully all the same) to be as little as possible.

Just as well there’s fic to enable them to be thrown at each other!! <333

Date: 2025-08-10 11:36 am (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
I think of Bertie’s mother as almost childlike in some respects - she’s desperately unhappy with Bertie’s father, because she married him when she was very young and entranced by some fleeting charm that acquaintance made clear was really a flaw for her. She was so set on securing a better life for herself, and maybe she was charmed by his swagger and self-confidence and the title as well, but the moment they married she realised that the paternal care he’d shown could also manifest as demanding and controlling (not out of malice, really, just because of pure thoughtlessness and a very traditional mindset), and the title came with living far from the liveliness and gaiety of a city, and all the joy and support she had there. And he’s equally disappointed with her, because he’d thought she was a charming, rather worldly, beauty - but tucked away at Chedcome she wilts and he thinks the Glamour has faded, and he has no patience for her desperate unhappiness and fragility and lack of practicality and stamina. (I *also* have a completely ridiculous headcanon that her actual true love is the friend she had before she met Bertie’s father, who comes to live with them as her maid because they can’t bear to be apart and Ena is fiercely protective of Bertie’s mother and can see she’s making a terrible choice and refuses to let her go off alone, and she spends the whole time loving Bertie’s mother fiercely and hating Bertie’s father (and to a lesser extent, Bertie) just as fiercely because she blames them for Bertie’s mother’s unhappiness and ill-health, and later when Bertie’s mother flees to Monaco for good, she goes with her to care for her but also to be with her love at last, and its absolutely ridiculous I have a full story for and a name for Ena when I don’t have one for either of Bertie’s parents!)

So Bertie’s mother ranges between delightedly whimsical and frivolous and loving; and petty and hurting and demanding and sulky. And that makes it even harder for him, in a way - because he never knows how she’s going to be, and he loves her *so* deeply, and when she’s well and happy, he’s loved and cherished; but when she’s not, he’s entirely helpless and miserable. And because he never knows how she’ll be, he’s on eggshells the whole time, desperately trying not to upset her balance and tip her over into one of her spells, always squeezing himself into whatever shape he thinks might best please her and never knowing what will work, never asking for attention or comfort or anything at all for himself, really, because he could *manage* if she would just be well and happy. And the older he gets, the more unwell she gets, until there are many more bad days than good days, and the memories of being loved and cherished and *seen* date back from longer and longer ago, but even when she becomes so unwell she’s barely herself, and it makes her demanding and hurtful, there is always a tiny central part of him that’s desperately and childishly certain that one day she will get better and be able to be present for him, and to love him unconditionally and reliably, in that way he’s sure he remembers her doing once, when he was very, very small.

/misc headcanon

Date: 2025-08-10 12:08 pm (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
So I am basing this all off the one scene where Bertie recounts to Ginger the time he was plastered with shotgun pellet as a kid, and had to endure being bullied into rough first aid by the gamekeeper: that he can’t count on support or comfort from his parents, and that if they find out about the affair, their reactions will be *worse* for him than having pellet picked out of his skin by a none-too-kind gamekeeper (who’s described to be scared of Bertie’s father). And misc pop psychology, of course!

If Bertie can’t rely on his mother to be a calm and steady loving presence in his life because she’s fragile and desperately unhappy herself (all headcanon, obvs), he also can’t rely on his father, who is quick tempered, or bad tempered, or both. I think his father is a man of who’s not had huge amounts of experience with the world other than his own, and doesn’t have the sensitivity or emotional intelligence to try to see things from anyone else’s perspective. He is very good at the things he’s interested in, but they tend to be quite practical, and niche, and rather devoid of intellectual or emotional challenges (eg prize bulls?). He’s also not good at dealing with frustrations and disappointments, and doesn’t really half the ability to self-reflect on why he’s bad tempered and frustrated. Chedcombe’s always been his priority and pride, and he doesn’t understand why he’s ended up with a wife who takes no interest or joy in it, and a son who (in his eyes, being only able to see the world from his personal lived experience) is weak, effeminate, and entirely lacking in all the skills that would make him a Man and a suitable heir. I think Bertie shares positive traits with his father (determination; a steadfast and undying loyalty to the rare few he sees as His People; the ability to endure), but they’re expressed so differently and at such different things that neither of the recognise the similarities in the other. And Bertie shares positive traits with his mother, too (whimsy, curiosity and genuine love for the world, kindness, a sense of compassion, and a real desire to look out for people, and to make their life brighter for having been in it) - but by the time he’s old enough to have developed into those traits, his father is so embittered by the relationship with his mother that can can only see the negative perspective of them: flightiness, weakness, irreverence, fragility, self-indulgence. I don’t think he ever knowingly sets out to be cruel to Bertie, because I don’t think he’s a cruel man, but he is entirely unable to understand Bertie, and what little he thinks he does understand, he’s frustrated and repulsed and disappointed by, and although he does do his best to be a good father, it’s so coloured by that view that their relationship varies from forced cordiality, to bitter disappointment (shame), to sullen resentment (despair), to provoked frustration (fear).

Date: 2025-08-11 12:27 pm (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
I have no good reason for thinking this, but I think Bertie’s father had - a reasonably good war? He didn’t experience the worst of the abject horrors, and acquitted himself quite well in the action he did see. He was wounded - enough to be unpleasant, not enough to be life changing. Like all men his age: some of his best friends died, some of them came back different, some did quite well. In short, I think he did well enough he could feel quietly proud, and experienced enough genuine awful hardship that it fuelled his already natural tendency to be a little bit unsympathetic. He finds he even harder to find any common ground with the struggles of his wife and son: he fought in a war, dammit, and spent weeks in a field hospital, and very good men died. Why is his wife weeping because winters are quiet at Chedcombe? Why is his son crying because he shot a rabbit?

In terms of looks, I agree with you completely! Very much taking after his father, and it’s hurtful for both parents. Although maybe also with a few subtle changes that make it rankle even more for his father. I do like the description of Bertie with an exceptionally thick head of hair, so he just has these lush golden locks as a kid, whereas his father’s family all have very thin hair that tends to balding at an early age. And skin that tans to golden, like his mother, instead of being florid and tending to redness. And yes, eyes from his paternal grandfather! <3

Date: 2025-08-11 12:44 pm (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
Ahahaha I mean, I have this very vivid headcanon for some of it but in the end it’s still just that, and no more!

I am so sad for tiny Bertie though, desperately trying to be enough and failing because it was never anything to do with him; and feeling entirely alone for most of his young life :( I think that type of general scenario is a fairly reasonable explanation of his adult character traits: of people pleasing, diffusing situations with deprecating humour, being used to just copping some pretty unfair criticism :(

(And then there’s Gimlet!! <333)

Date: 2025-08-10 12:41 pm (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
Sorry, you just have me brain dumping thoughts on you without much order or logic, because I have anything ranging from Unreasonable Headcanon In Unreasonable Detail, to ~Vibes~ that I’m only pinning down properly for the first time as I type them out 😅

I don’t think I’ve thought much about Gimlet’s mother, but your thoughts for her just make such perfect sense. I think he does have a more uncomplicated relationship with her than with his father, and I agree that, nevertheless, it’s not a particularly deep relationship either. The way he says ‘Mothers always do’ - seems to be without any kind of overtly negative baggage, but also there’s a faint dismissal there: that mothers exist to play a part and fill a role, and they probably haven’t got much conviction of their own behind what the lines they say, so best not to put too much stock in them. Contrast it with the reverence and deference with which Copper speaks of his own invalid mother - all the times he says if she could only see him now, what would she say, etc.

I’m amused by the idea (floated once in the discord channel, I think) that Gimlet’s mother is the Dowager Duchess of Lorrington (or title-appropriate equivalent) and that he’s entirely obedient to her - but I really can’t see it. I think he’s too self-contained and emotionally stunted to have a close relationship with his mother (even a close-but-fraught relationship).

I’m not sure he ever did have anyone he was close to, growing up - I think he’s naturally a rather solitary person because he’s too caught up in the world being the way *he* sees it, and he doesn’t have the patience or natural gentleness in wanting to or being able to accommodate the regular foibles of other people. And I think he’s so awed by his father that every other adult falls short, and so his view of them ranges from disdain to dismissal; and perhaps he’s also so entirely used to the complicated mix of emotions he has about his relationship with his father (respect and awe and shame and resentment and fear) that if he doesn’t feel the entire gamut and force of those emotions with another adult, he dismisses them out of hand as unworthy of his respect or admiration or time. And he’s such an odd and intense and unforgiving child that he doesn’t inspire any adults, or many children, to gravitate towards him and react warmly to him.

Which is not to say I think he was friendless - I think the children around him who were his peers respected him (for his talents and his family name) and never sought to exclude him from group activities - but they were always slightly wary of him, and he was content to engage to the extent that he wanted to with them, but he never felt like he yearned for their company or anything, because he never really felt like he was quite like the others (which was Entirely Ok by him).

Date: 2025-08-11 12:36 pm (UTC)
ysande: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysande
If I’d thought anything about Gimlet’s mother during the era of his books, I would have assumed she was dead, partly because she’s not mentioned, and partly because it’s not in keeping with his character to have anyone close, and partly because it’s such a common trope to kill of protagonists parents! But you’re right, there’s no reason for her to be dead - she could equally have moved quietly somewhere abroad after Gimlet’s father’s death, with absolutely no interest in ever returning to the UK to live. She and Gimlet share a quiet and respectful disinterest in each other, but on the rare occasions they happen to be in the same space, they have tea and it’s very civilised and entirely unemotional and a little bit wry, and neither of them want anything more.

And I could absolutely see Gimlet tagging along, demanding to be allowed to see, to try, to be taught. I don’t think he’d ask politely or be bashful, I think he’d order politely and be quite matter of fact about it, so all the staff know that he’s just one of the hazards of the job, but for all his strangeness and slightly demanding airs, he’s genuinely interested and quick to learn, and he’s polite if not likeable, so they all just accept him as part of their chores around the grounds.

And then there is Bertie, indeed!! <3333 (I am so obsessed with the both of them!! 😭)

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